Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Haven't posted in a few days...

It's been a few days since I last posted, and even in those few days since so much has happened.

Needless to say I am completely and totally drained. Both emotionally and physically.

I am too tired to go in to depth now, but I want to get back at writing these daily blogs tomorrow, alas, I shall sleep now! Lol! GOOOOODDDnight! :)

XoXo- The Dark Duchess

*Image found on google*

Monday, January 14, 2013

Wedding Anniversary!

Haven't posted in a few days, it's been quite the week:(

My medicine has been hitting me hard, my body is trying to adjust but by doing so its forcing me to sleep... A LOT!

It's also been a difficult week for my husband as his grandmother is on her death bed and truly is heart breaking. She had a hand in raising him so he is taking it really hard.

However, today is a day we get to celebrate a little. It is our 3rd wedding anniversary. We have been through so much the past 3 years that it would take a lottttt of posts and crying to try to explain lol! Everything in this world is ALWAYS working against us. We have had some pretty low points and some wonderful high points. I hope and pray it only gets better from here.

To my husband. I love you very much. I look forward to this year 2013 and all it's changes it will have (though they will be tough) I know we can get through them like we always have. I pray that our marriage will become stronger and we will be happier for it. Happy anniversary my smeassy!😍💜 let's have an awesome anniversary week:)

XoXo- The Dark Duchess

Originally written on 01/14/13 but posted today 01/15/13

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Ranty, rant, rant...

I missed posting yesterday because I literally slept all day yesterday. I have been soooo very tired the past few days, however, today is a little better.

I have sooo much to do in such a little time, trying to keep it all together right now but it's hard. Especially when you feel so tired that you MUST lay down, your body doesn't give you any other choice lol!

This more or less is a ranty rant rant post today haha. Several things have been irritating me as of lately, I could be more irritable just because of the medicine or the high doses of iron but either way I'm cranky, crankier then usual hahaha.

For example, my husband told me that the marine corps is now bringing down an order that they have to wear one of their nice uniforms EVERY Friday. Well he was told this the day before he went back to work from a 2 and half week holiday leave. That uniform is not ready and it is between paydays currently. Really marine corps?

I have several issues with this order like;
1) My husband is a technician, he works outside most of the time and gets filthy, you really think its a brilliant idea for him and his fellow marines to wear a uniform of that stature while getting filthy?! Now, there is a waiver process to get that waved for units like my husbands, however, who knows how long that process will take with their slow asses.
2) Some of the rules that they have been coming up with are straight up... 'Wtf were they thinking?!' lol! I'm not going to spend money out of pocket (when I have so many other things I need to pay for to live, like IDK BILLS?!) for a new uniform for my husband every Friday when he gets that uniform filthy. Also the person that came up with the 'sleeves down all year 'round' rule, you sir are just stupid. I wonder many how many people in the hotter parts of the country have passed out due to heat exhaustion? I will never understand how or why the marine corps thinks the way they do.
On a separate rant note;
I have been compared to most of the typical 'marine corps wifeys' as of late, mostly by military doctors that use the typical procedures for women like them on me. I have a HUGE problem with this.
3) I am soooo far from being a 'gung ho' 'marine corps/military wife', I am frowned upon by most of the marine corps and their trophy wives that some of these men find. I was raised a navy kid. Plain and simple. I tell it like it is whether people like it or not. I've yet to meet another 'marine corps wifey' that I like lol. I don't heavily party, drink, smoke or live that type of lifestyle, and that's why 99.9% of the time I don't fit in. I don't go marine corps balls, parties, etc. and my husband and I prefer it that way, thank you very much. I wish I could find more people that think and have morals like I do to hang out with, alas, it hasn't happened yet.

Okay so my ranty rant is done for the day. I have more that isn't military related but I am too annoyed to rant about it yet lol.

On a good note, our wedding anniversary is coming up:) 3 years on the 14th of this month. We haven't killed each other yet so that's a good sign! LMAO! I hope to have a nice stress free anniversary this year. Our relationship is a unique one indeed and we have had lots of hardships these past 3 years but, I hope it gets better from here.

Well I suppose I'm done being cranky here for the day haha!

XoXo- The Dark Duchess

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Rain, Rain, blahhh...

Soo rainy today, quite nasty. Today is all about staying inside and resting

Yesterday. I started my Methotrexate (boooo), but I must say it is so far so good. I have not had any severe side effects as of yet (aside from feeling tired and a little on the weak side). 

I am hoping that this medicine will get my life back to normal, getting me back to living a 22 year old life and not having to feel like I'm 90+ all the time. I hope to get back into school and start having a better, happier, healthier life

I am going to be confined to my house a lot while going through this treatment, however, I hope to feel the changes in my joints soon. The rhuem doc told me it can take as little as 6 weeks to see and change all the way up to 6 months (So wish me luck on the lesser of the two). :)

XoXo- The Dark Duchess

(Image found on Google images)

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Changes! HUGE Changes!

So today I'm making a HUGE jump towards managing something that has been crippling me for some years now. My psoriatic arthritis. It's odd that I've come to the terms of having this annoying little annoyance, well more like a pretty big annoyance.

Now I know there are a LOT of people out there with some form of arthritis, however, most of those people aren't only 22 years old. I have had psoriasis since I was 12 and started to develop the arthritis (which is rare) once I was about 16. I haven't tried any treatments, until today. Today is the big day. Starting today, I see if all the stress the past several years was worth it.

I'm not without my doubts or even fears. The medication is used in cancer patients after all! Methotrexate. The name I've dreaded hearing from 5 (yes! 5!) different rheumatologist's since I was 18. I now have a rheumatology doctor that I trust, which means a lot to me.

My husband is in the military, so here in the next few months he has orders to be a recruiter ('oh joyyy' was our exact thought) while it will be good for his career, I fear how it will impact my medicine routine. But, alas, I shall have to have faith in the lord (who I've lost faith in a many a time). But, this time I remain vigilant and want to make my life better.

This is partially why I created this blog. So that I could have an outlet to my fears, triumphs and low points. I am hoping and praying that this medicine will work as it has been acclaimed to and that I do not suffer really bad side effects.

I will write more later today as I have more time and while fearful to start methotrexate today, it is a big burden lifted off my shoulders as well.

-XoXo The Dark Duchess

Friday, January 4, 2013

Goodbye 2012, Helllooo '13

Wow, I haven't written a blog in YEARS! (given I've barely had time to breathe the past year)

2012 definitely was not my finest year, but I've started learning a lot of lessons from it.

I'm not even sure where to begin to catch all of you taking the time to read this.... up.

So much negative can get a person down, depress them, make them not live life to its fullest. I am sure I will cry a few times while writing this here today but that is okay. It will only make me feel better and feel stronger.

As I stated, 2012 was pretty, wellll, crappy to be blunt. There are a lot of things that I want to say to everyone that I care about but the number one thing at the top of my list is, "I'm sorry". I'm truly sorry that I ignored or avoided most of you last year. I was in an on going depression that I've tried to fight on my own but lost. I got kicked down by a lot of things last year, numerous on going medical problems, problems with anxiety and believe it or not problems in my marriage.

This year I hope to change a lot of that. In the past 2 months, I have started making HUGE, overhaul, complete lifestyle changes. It's difficult to break old habits but I'm fighting like hell to make it happen.

Writing has ALWAYS been a outlet for me and the past several years, I've forgotten that. SOoooooo, I've decided to make a blog. I hope that my true friends will stick through the tough times with me and maybe even help me on my journey:) Maybe, just maybe, even make some new friends along the way. If I can help anyone out there that has gone through ANYTHING similar to what I have at a young age, then that would make me happy to know that my struggles weren't all for not.

I will post a separate update on things that have been going on in the past year in separate post. I hope you all have an awesome 2013 and I hope I can have your support. I know one man I can trust already to get me through this and that is GOD. I am honestly convinced I would not still be here today and be as tough as I am without him. -Amen-

Thanks for taking the time to read this:)
XoXo- The Dark Duchess